Difficult days

These last few days since loosing the pregnancy have been very difficult. I is frustrating because I still have pregnancy symptoms but in my heart I know the baby is gone. Yesterday was especially hard because that was one when my original scan was booked. At least I have my son whom is a miracle from god to make me smile. And I know god has a plan for me and my family and a baby so soon after what I went through to have my precious son was maybe not part of the plan. At least I take comfort in knowing our little bean is with god. But it still hurts and I want to ask why, why me. Why did my doctor's let me go without treatment to the point I lost my precious baby. Why was it a funding decision, how did they have the right to leave me to miscarry while they where making up their minds? To those questions I will never have answers, I just know I miss being pregnant, miss the life that was growing and because of funding issues I don't know if I will ever be given the opportunity to give life to another baby again even if I get pregnant. These are issues me and my husband intend to raise with my specialist in the near future. Need to get some rest, God bless for now.

BAD NEWS

I AM SAD TO SAY, DUE TO LACK OF PRE-TREATMENT WITH FIBRINOGEN FROM THE NHS I STARTED BLEEDING AGAIN THURSDAY AND LOST THE BABY ON FRIDAY. ALL I CAN SAY IS I AM DEVASTATED!!

WE ARE PREGNANT AGAIN

I KNOW IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE POSTED, BUT LIFE IS VERY HECTIC WITH A NEW BABY. WITH THAT BEING SAID I FOUND OUT ON THE 29TH OF SEPTEMBER THAT I AM EXPECTING AGAIN. THIS HAS COME AS A COMPLETE SURPRISE AS I WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL. I AM VERY HAPPY WITH THE NEWS BUT SCARED AT THE SAME TIME. SINCE I LIVE IN THE UK AND USE THE NHS (NATIONAL HEALTH SYTEM) THEY ARE REFUSING TO TREAT ME UNTIL THEY GET APPROVAL FOR FUNDING A 2ND PREGNANCY. IT IS DOCUMENTED THAT LADIES WITH MY BLOOD CONDITION (AFIBRINOGENEMIA) WILL MISCARRY WITHOUT FIBRINOGEN REPLACEMENT. ON FRIDAY THE 9TH OF OCTOBER I STARTED BLEEDING AND IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT THE WORST. MY WONDERFUL OTHER HALF RUSHED ME TO THE HOSPITAL IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES AND I WAS GIVEN TREATMENT (BECAUSE IT WAS AN EMERGENCY) CAUSE I WAS LOOSING ALOT OF BLOOD. THAT NIGHT THEY DID A SCAN AND INTERNAL EXAM TO DETERMINE THERE WAS A GESTATIONAL SAC AND MY CERVIX WAS STILL CLOSED. THE SCAN WAS REPEATED SATURDAY MORNING AND THANKFULLY NOTHING HAD CHANGED. I WAS IN HOSPITAL FOR 4 DAYS AND WAS TOLD I LOST 1 PINT OF BLOOD AND WAS DISCHARGED WITH IRON TABLETS AND AN APPOINTMENT FOR A REPEAT SCAN ON MONDAY THE 19TH. I DID GO TO SEE MY OB TODAY AND WAS ADVISED OF THE RISKS OF ANOTHER PREGNANCY BUT THEY ARE BASICALLY THE SAME AS MY FIRST. ALTHOUGH SHE DID SAY THERE MAY COME A POINT IN THIS PREGNANCY THAT SHE WILL ADVISE TO TERMINATE BECAUSE OF RISKS TO ME AND THE BABY BUT NOT AT THIS POINT. THE MAIN ISSUE IS THE FUNDING, SOMEWHERE SOMEONE IS SITTING IN AN OFFICE DECIDING THE FATE OF MY FAMILY. WHETHER OR NOT I GET TO CONTINUE WITH THIS PREGNANCY. I AM HOPING AND PRAYING THAT AT THE NEXT SCAN THE SAC WILL HAVE GROWN OR WE WILL SEE A HEARTBEAT AND DON'T MISCARRY BEFORE THEN. I THINK IF WE CAN GET TO THAT POINT THEN THE FUNDING COMMITTEE WILL BE PUSHED TO MAKE A DECISION WHERE AS OF NOW THEY ARE DRAGGING THEIR FEET. IT IS VERY FRUSTRATING BUT I AM TRYING TO STAY CALM FOR MINE, THE BABY'S AND MY FAMILY'S SAKE. PLEASE SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR US.

BRAYDEN MICHAEL KEITH

Baby Brayden

Sorry for the delay, but baby Brayden is here and we are both well. He was born March 23rd at 9:53 am weighing in at 5 pounds 3 ounces and 17 inches long. Let me start by saying what a day!!! I went into hospital on Sunday night (March 22nd) at around 5:00 pm. I was checked in and sent off to my room to start my blood treatments. The nurses advised that my surgery would probably be around 10 am the next morning as long as my fibrinogen level had increased enough. Well Monday morning things seemed to move alot quicker then expected. My blood levels from 6 am came back really good so by 8:30 am I was off to labor and delivery to get ready for the surgery. Once in the operating room the doctors and nurses spent about an hour putting in several IV line, arterial line and spinal block. Once all was done and my OB arrived the surgery was under way. I was scared out of my mind and crying about how things would go then my silly other half fell off his stool in the operating room which was completely hillarious!!! Changed my mood for the whole operation. It really wasn`t as bad as what I had expected. The weirdest part was having my legs and stomach all numb. All I was able to feel really was some tugging and pulling. After about 15 minutes little baby Brayden came crying into this world. It was the most amazing thing for the doctor to pull down the curtain and there he was, my perfect little 34 weeker weighing in at 5 pounds 3 ounces. The nurses took the baby to clean him up and all I could think about was if he was going to be ok. After about 10 minutes he proved to mommy that he was so strong that he didn`t need any help and was back in mommy's arms. The surgery itself took a total of about 1 hour to complete once the spinal was in place and working. I lost about 500ml of blood, which the doctor said was normal for a C-section and for someone with my blood condition, it was amazing. After the surgery I was takin to recovery for 3 or 4 hours for observation then transferred back to my room on labor and delivery where I stayed until Thursday. In total after the surgery I received 1 unit of whole blood and continous infusions of fibrinogen concentrate (blood products) until Thursday. I was then taken downstairs to the ward overnight and was put on daily infusions of fibrinogen. My sweet boy did not spend any time in the NICU, he spent all his time with mommy in her room. It took a little bit of effort to get him feeding and sucking but we have made it there in the end. Poor baby had a little bruise in his hand and finger from blood work, but thank god he does not have any type of blood condition. Finally on Friday night we were both discharged and got to come home for the first time. Other than being very very sore from the C-section we are both doing very well and enjoying every single moment together. :) Will post pictures as soon as and a special thanks to all who were praying for us :)

THE COUNTDOWN TO D-DAY HAS BEGUN!!

Well everyone it has been confirmed today that baby Brayden will be born on Monday, March 23rd by elective C-section at 34 weeks 1day gestation. I will go into the hospital sunday night around 5 pm where they will start my fibrinogen treatment to bring my blood level up and then I will be put on a continous infusion until at least 2 days after the delivery. At that point I will go back to being treated probably 3 times a week the same as during pregnancy for 6 weeks after. The actual delivery itself will take place in the main hospital operating rooms (theatre) rather than the maternity unit, that way all the doctors and specialists will be very close to one another. There will be a team from the NICU waiting with all the necessary equipment to stabalize the baby if need be. My doctor told me we should be able to see the baby before the transport him but more than likely he will at a minimum spend the first night in the NICU. This will all depend on how strong he is when he comes out. He has been such a fighter so far, I'm sure he will be just fine maybe only needed a little bit of help to start with breathing, feeding, etc. Is very strange to think that in just a little over a week I will have my precious baby in my arms *tear*. Will everyone keep us both in your thoughts and prayers that things go smoothly and problems with both of us are kept to a minimum. :)

Hospital stay

Well I'm back home after a 4 day stay in the hospital. On sunday I was lying in bed when I started having a visual disturbance like the room was spinning and felt really dizzy along with headaches and swelling. So I decided to ring the hospital and they told me to come in to be checked out. The OB on call decided to admit me for observation to keep an eye on my blood pressure. For the most part my blood pressure was fine and the headache seemed to wear off but was still having a lot of swelling in my fingers and legs. Then on Monday night at about 2:30 in the morning I woke up to go to the toilet and was having really bad pains down low on my stomach. At that point I asked the nurse for some pain medication (tylenol). She noticed I seemed in quite a bit of pain so she took me back to my bed and had a feel of my tummy and noticed I was contracting. She put me on the monitor and sure enough I was having contractions every 2 minutes for about 30 minutes. The nurse went ahead and paged the doctor on call to come down and check me out then said "If you keep this up you might meet your baby sooner than you think!" From that point I was really scared because I want him to stay in at least a few weeks longer. When the doctor arrived thankfully my contractions had started to ease up. During her exam she said I wasn't dilated nor was my cervix getting short. All was good news, they left me on the monitor for another hour and all settled and was able to go back to sleep. Since I have only had a few minor contractions but nothing to worry about. I was discharged from the hospital yesterday afternoon and have felt ok. Still have quite a bit of soreness around my pelvic bone but other that that not much else. I did have my appointment with my regular OB yesterday and she advised she will be booking my C-section during the week of March 23rd (34 weeks gestation). Am getting very nervous knowing that my little one will be here in a little more than 2 weeks. Just hope he stays put until then and continues to grow strong for his big birthday :)