Difficult days

These last few days since loosing the pregnancy have been very difficult. I is frustrating because I still have pregnancy symptoms but in my heart I know the baby is gone. Yesterday was especially hard because that was one when my original scan was booked. At least I have my son whom is a miracle from god to make me smile. And I know god has a plan for me and my family and a baby so soon after what I went through to have my precious son was maybe not part of the plan. At least I take comfort in knowing our little bean is with god. But it still hurts and I want to ask why, why me. Why did my doctor's let me go without treatment to the point I lost my precious baby. Why was it a funding decision, how did they have the right to leave me to miscarry while they where making up their minds? To those questions I will never have answers, I just know I miss being pregnant, miss the life that was growing and because of funding issues I don't know if I will ever be given the opportunity to give life to another baby again even if I get pregnant. These are issues me and my husband intend to raise with my specialist in the near future. Need to get some rest, God bless for now.

BAD NEWS

I AM SAD TO SAY, DUE TO LACK OF PRE-TREATMENT WITH FIBRINOGEN FROM THE NHS I STARTED BLEEDING AGAIN THURSDAY AND LOST THE BABY ON FRIDAY. ALL I CAN SAY IS I AM DEVASTATED!!

WE ARE PREGNANT AGAIN

I KNOW IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE POSTED, BUT LIFE IS VERY HECTIC WITH A NEW BABY. WITH THAT BEING SAID I FOUND OUT ON THE 29TH OF SEPTEMBER THAT I AM EXPECTING AGAIN. THIS HAS COME AS A COMPLETE SURPRISE AS I WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL. I AM VERY HAPPY WITH THE NEWS BUT SCARED AT THE SAME TIME. SINCE I LIVE IN THE UK AND USE THE NHS (NATIONAL HEALTH SYTEM) THEY ARE REFUSING TO TREAT ME UNTIL THEY GET APPROVAL FOR FUNDING A 2ND PREGNANCY. IT IS DOCUMENTED THAT LADIES WITH MY BLOOD CONDITION (AFIBRINOGENEMIA) WILL MISCARRY WITHOUT FIBRINOGEN REPLACEMENT. ON FRIDAY THE 9TH OF OCTOBER I STARTED BLEEDING AND IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT THE WORST. MY WONDERFUL OTHER HALF RUSHED ME TO THE HOSPITAL IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES AND I WAS GIVEN TREATMENT (BECAUSE IT WAS AN EMERGENCY) CAUSE I WAS LOOSING ALOT OF BLOOD. THAT NIGHT THEY DID A SCAN AND INTERNAL EXAM TO DETERMINE THERE WAS A GESTATIONAL SAC AND MY CERVIX WAS STILL CLOSED. THE SCAN WAS REPEATED SATURDAY MORNING AND THANKFULLY NOTHING HAD CHANGED. I WAS IN HOSPITAL FOR 4 DAYS AND WAS TOLD I LOST 1 PINT OF BLOOD AND WAS DISCHARGED WITH IRON TABLETS AND AN APPOINTMENT FOR A REPEAT SCAN ON MONDAY THE 19TH. I DID GO TO SEE MY OB TODAY AND WAS ADVISED OF THE RISKS OF ANOTHER PREGNANCY BUT THEY ARE BASICALLY THE SAME AS MY FIRST. ALTHOUGH SHE DID SAY THERE MAY COME A POINT IN THIS PREGNANCY THAT SHE WILL ADVISE TO TERMINATE BECAUSE OF RISKS TO ME AND THE BABY BUT NOT AT THIS POINT. THE MAIN ISSUE IS THE FUNDING, SOMEWHERE SOMEONE IS SITTING IN AN OFFICE DECIDING THE FATE OF MY FAMILY. WHETHER OR NOT I GET TO CONTINUE WITH THIS PREGNANCY. I AM HOPING AND PRAYING THAT AT THE NEXT SCAN THE SAC WILL HAVE GROWN OR WE WILL SEE A HEARTBEAT AND DON'T MISCARRY BEFORE THEN. I THINK IF WE CAN GET TO THAT POINT THEN THE FUNDING COMMITTEE WILL BE PUSHED TO MAKE A DECISION WHERE AS OF NOW THEY ARE DRAGGING THEIR FEET. IT IS VERY FRUSTRATING BUT I AM TRYING TO STAY CALM FOR MINE, THE BABY'S AND MY FAMILY'S SAKE. PLEASE SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR US.