Difficult days

These last few days since loosing the pregnancy have been very difficult. I is frustrating because I still have pregnancy symptoms but in my heart I know the baby is gone. Yesterday was especially hard because that was one when my original scan was booked. At least I have my son whom is a miracle from god to make me smile. And I know god has a plan for me and my family and a baby so soon after what I went through to have my precious son was maybe not part of the plan. At least I take comfort in knowing our little bean is with god. But it still hurts and I want to ask why, why me. Why did my doctor's let me go without treatment to the point I lost my precious baby. Why was it a funding decision, how did they have the right to leave me to miscarry while they where making up their minds? To those questions I will never have answers, I just know I miss being pregnant, miss the life that was growing and because of funding issues I don't know if I will ever be given the opportunity to give life to another baby again even if I get pregnant. These are issues me and my husband intend to raise with my specialist in the near future. Need to get some rest, God bless for now.